


They say, "You're a little much for me"

by YuiH



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Aomine Daiki, Bisexual Kise Ryouta, Boys Kissing, Canon Compliant, Falling In Love, Getting Together, How Do I Tag, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Light Angst, M/M, Underage Drinking, breaking up, childhood relationships treated seriously, i mean teenage angst, teenage relationships treated seriously, teenagers in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2020-02-04 17:08:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18608872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YuiH/pseuds/YuiH
Summary: Kise goes through love and heartbreak and makes a lot of terrible mistakes, but also maybe matures a bit.In other words: a story about Kise's growth (or not), from childhood to high school.





	They say, "You're a little much for me"

**Author's Note:**

> Hey I'm back to writing again! I hope the rating is good (I don't think it deserves higher than T but if you think otherwise let me know) and you'll enjoy this work. The idea for this came to me when I read that Kise's type of girl is "a girl who won't tie him down" on wiki and the rest of the plot just came to me.  
> I'm sorry if any mistakes or typos show up, English is not my first language and typos just happen sometimes. I'm also sorry if I fucked up the tenses!!  
> The title comes from Lorde's Liability, which is probably the most overplayed song on my writing playlist.

Kise doesn't really remember a period in his life when he _wasn't_ popular. Maybe in kindergarten, but he's not certain.  
Girls from his class started falling for him immediately after he started primary school. From the beginning he was taller and prettier than other boys and he excelled in every sport he tried. Even teachers rarely got mad at him despite his terrible grades, because Kise was a charming kid.  
He had his first "girlfriend" when he was nine. Ayumi was bolder and more confident than other third-graders and broke his heart a month after, telling him he was annoying and self-centered (which was true) and calling him "just a pretty face". Then she told other girls the same things, but her honesty didn't end well for her, since all of her classmates decided she's lying. Kise was perfect, after all.  
Rumors that he's gay started surfacing around fifth grade of primary school. There hasn't been any real reason for that; the rumors were started mostly by boys who were jealous of Kise. But he was also an easy target for such gossip with his "girly" character traits and skincare obsession (and maybe the way he looked at other boys sometimes).  
Kise tried to ignore the rumors and resorted to defeating the other boys in sport games as revenge. But you couldn't say he wasn't affected by those, maybe because they weren't entirely false. Not that he didn't like girls, he just... Liked boys as well.  
He dated a few more girls, who weren't as honest as Ayumi and didn't have the nerve to call him out for his narcissistic, egoistic behavior. After some time he would just get bored and just like that, every one of his childish relationships would fall apart.  
When he entered middle school he was tall, strikingly handsome and self-obsessed. The girls were at his feet, but he didn't want to get into anything serious. Until Haruhi.  
It's not like Kise didn't like his previous girlfriends, but it was the first time he really fell for someone so hard. She was the only thing on his mind and he would do anything for her... As long as it wasn't too hard.  
He was flirty, which wouldn't be a problem for her if not for the fact that he was also extremely jealous at times.  
"Why do you think that the rules you want me to follow don't apply to you? If you don't want me to tie you down it's fine, but only if you don't tie me down as well!"  
"It's just different when it's me" he said without thinking and suddenly realised the meaning behind those words.  
"Different rules for you, right? You're really too much. I should have realised this sooner."  
Just like that, Kise Ryōta, currently aged thirteen, experienced his first real heartbreak.  
Later that year, Kise found himself crushing on another boy for the first time. Mashiro was two years older than him and the captain of the football team. They only talked two or three times, but it was enough for Kise to swoon over him, his wide arms and manly charms, very different from what Kise was like.  
But, of course, he would not accept that part of himself nor confess to Mashiro (and ruin his reputation forever), so he just waited for the stupid crush to go away, focusing on girls and modeling instead.  
Then, in second grade, he joined the basketball club and met Aomine Daiki, his friend, crush, rival, role model, worst nightmare.  
Aomine was strong, attractive and effortlessly cool and while Kise was way more popular than him, Kise himself didn't really understand why.  
At that time his model carrier was blooming, he got his ear pierced and the rumors started resurfacing, but Kise was popular and confident enough not to care.  
The met at Murasakibaracchi's house soon after Kise joined and Aomine, over his fruit flavored beer (because Murasakibara was tall enough to buy it without being asked for ID), said:  
"Hey, Kise. You know you can feel safe here, right? Between us."  
"What?"  
"I'll tell you first. I... Like both boys and girls. Though girls a little bit more. Everyone here" he made a wide gesture across the room "is fine with that and they won't tell anyone else without my permission."  
Kise looks at him with eyes so wide his eyeballs could probably fall off his face.  
"So, if you feel like this too, I'm telling you it's fine."  
"I'm... Okay. I like boys and girls too" Kise finally says and laughs awkwardly, feeling the alcohol he's way too young for circulating in his veins.  
Later that night, Aomine was kissing Kise against Murasakibara's mom's bedroom wall and it was actually quite terrible because Aomine was presumably inexperienced and didn't know what to do with his teeth.  
Suprisingly enough, it didn't get awkward the next day - instead they got into a weird relationship, entirely physical; makeouts in school corridors and rushed handjobs after practice. Which was nice while it lasted, but Kise wanted a _relationship_ relationship and suggested it one day.   
"You would like to be boyfriends? Like exclusive? Holding hands and stuff? That's not going to happen."  
"But-"  
"You're not even the only person I do this kind of stuff with."  
Reasonably, Kise had no right to get mad - they never made any promises, they didn't even really talk about it - but Kise is not a reasonable person and went absolutely furious, because he felt like he deserves to be treated like something more than just an easy lay.  
"I didn't feel anything for you, you idiot" says Aomine when Kise finally ran out of breath. "And if I knew that you would want something more that this, I'd stop. Couldn't you see I'm in love with someone else?"  
Kise hated it so much because he actually could see it, but ignored it completely, trying to overlook the obvious; because he didn't want to know that he might not be the most important person in the world for the boy he felt for. But after what Aomine said he had to start noticing the way Teikō's ace stared at Kurokocchi.  
Of course, Kise respected Kuroko, but he had a hard time accepting the fact that Kuroko (supposedly) was better than him outside of the court (at least in Aominecchi's eyes). So, Kise spent hours trying to figure out what did Tetsuya have that he didn't, and when he realised what's happening it was too late. Kise found himself falling again.  
It was the worst, because it wasn't like he forgot about Aominecchi that fast, it was just he had equally strong but somehow different feelings for both of them, because both were so cool and strong and beautiful and Kise really wanted to be loved by someone who treated him as an equal, not just blindly admired him.  
But Kise was still sure that he's perfect in every way and just couldn't understand why did neither of the boys he thought he loved return his feelings (falling for each other instead).  
When Aomine hurt Kuroko's feelings so much that it seemed impossible to fix their bond, Kise was, of course, sad, because their team was falling apart, but he was also happy in some way - because he was terribly egoistic and self-obsessed and figured that he might be the person who will make Kuroko happy again.  
He knew it was fake when he held Kuroko in his arms, because it wasn't that easy for Kuroko to forget about Aomine, but Kise didn't care, because holding Kurokocchi was the only thing that mattered to him.  
It worked for a while, because they eventually fell for each other for real. Looking back, Kise thought that it could have even worked out as something serious. If Kise didn't fuck up, of course.  
He just couldn't understand why doesn't Kurokocchi want sex. It's not like he expected _that_ much, just something more than kissing - it felt normal, after what Aominecchi has gotten him used to, and after all he was just a horny teenager. But it was seemingly different with Kurokocchi.  
"I just need time, Kise-kun."  
"Okay" Kise tries not to pout, but fails.  
"I'm sorry."  
"I can't believe you tried to be something with Aominecchi since the only thing he wanted was sex!" Kise says without thinking and immediately regrets it.  
"Maybe that's why you went together better than you and me" says Kuroko, possibly the saddest Kise's ever seen him.  
"Not really, since he didn't love me" answers Kise, bitterly.  
"I do love you. And I know you love me, too. But you expect too much. I can't give you what tou want."  
No amount of apologizing could change Kuroko's mind and Kise spent hours crying, cursing his big mouth and lack of patience, but also blaming Kuroko, because he wasn't the best at admitting he's the one to blame.  
There were girls after this, at the end of middle school, during holidays and the beginning of high school. And then he met Kasamatsu Yukio.  
After Kuroko, Kise didn't really find anyone beautiful; he didn't really care about the girls and knew they don't really care about anything other than his looks and popularity - and that was fine because he was free and wasn't hurting anyone (in his opinion, at least). He thought it was okay until Kasamatsu confronted him right after he witnesses Kise tell a girl who looked head over heels over him that he wasn't really interested.  
"What the _hell_ are you doing?"  
"It's not that big of a deal, senpai"  
"What if she really loves you and you gave her false hope before?"  
"She doesn't. They only like me because I'm a model."  
"But _what if_ one of them really saw something in you besides you pretty face, even though I'm not sure what would it be, and really fell in love with you?"  
"That's dumb. I don't want to be tied down, anyways."  
"You think it's being free, but I''ll tell you something. It's called being an asshole!" Kasamatsu is visibly furious, his eyes look like strom clouds, and Kise is at loss of words. "You shouldn't give them hope if you're not even interested in a tiniest bit!"  
Kise apologized, though he wasn't sure for what, and the captain told him it wasn't the point. They avoided each other as much as possible during the entire practice and Ryōta went home, lied on his bed and couldn't stop thinking about what Kasamatsu said, despite trying to make himself believe it wasn't a big deal.  
It was already morning when he was able to forget about those stormy clouds filled with anger and fall asleep.  
Despite the fact that he believed he was right, ahen a girl asked him out a few days later, instead of going on a date with her, like he'd usually do, he rejected her politely.  
"I'm sorry, I'm not ready for a relationship right now" he said honestly.  
"What's up, Kise?" asks Nakamura, who witnessed the situation. "Are you dating someone else? I've never see you reject a date before."  
"No, I'm not. I just... Don't feel like it." Nakamura raises his eyebrows.  
"Are you sick or something?"  
Kise isn't sick. He tries to convince himself it's his choice not to give the girls hope and that he doesn't hear Kasamatsu's voice in his head everytime a girl confesses to him.  
He also tries to believe that those dark blue eyes aren't what keeps him up at night and blames it on stress caused by basketball.  
He stopped lying to himself right before the winter cup. He even considered confessing but then heard all the voices in his head.  
"Just a pretty face"  
"You're really too much"  
"I didn't feel anything for you, you idiot"  
"I can't give you what you want"  
"That's called being an asshole!"  
Kasamatsu is probably straight anyway, he told himself.  
But come to think of it, whenever someone would ask the captain about his type of girl, he would just shrug and stay silent, and if the other boys (namely Moriyama) started the usual locker room banter, he would roll his eyes and tell them to shut up. It was also surprising that despite being fairly popular he supposedly never had a girlfriend.  
"A girl named Yukika asked me for your phone number yesterday" says Kobori when they're on the bus to Tokyo. "I said I can't give it to her."  
"Good" answers Kasamatsu flatly.  
"Senpai, why won't you give a girl a chance? Maybe she's nice."  
"I'm not you" says Kasamatsu, annoyed.  
"Kise rejected a few girls recently, though."  
Maybe Kise is imagining things, but he thinks he saw Kasamatsu smile at Nakamura's statement.  
It's the night before the semifinals when kise decides to risk it all and confess to Kasamatsu after they win with Seirin. He doesn't even consider they might lose, so after the match he's bawling his eyes out in the bathroom for more than one reason.  
"Hey" he hears the captain's voice and raises his head from the sink. "We have to go."  
"I'm-I'm sorry" Kise says between sobs. "This match, it was- it felt even more important that others."  
"Every match is important, dumbass" says Kasamatsu, but there's not anger in his voice; he sounds softer than usual, even. "But you really wanted to win that one, right?"  
"Yes" another sob. "Can I tell you something?"  
"Hmm?"  
"I-" Kise might be making the biggest mistake of his life, but he doesn't care at this point. "I was in love with Kurokocchi once. In middle school. I'm over it, and I think there's something between him and Kagamicchi now, but I wanted to defeat them both to let this thing go completely."  
"Ah, jeez." Kasamatsu sighs. "I know."  
"You- What?"  
"Don't act like it wasn't obvious since our first practice match with Seirin." Another sigh. "It seemed that you're still in love with him back then. That's why I scolded you that one time. I thought dating someone else when you still think about Kuroko was unfair."  
"Probably" Kise finally admits. "But I think I stopped thinking about him that way."  
"Are you sure?" Kasamatsu raises his eyebrows.  
"My heart is somewhere else now."  
"Oh, okay." Maybe Kise is imagining things again, but he thinks he heard sadness in captain's voice. "Let's go." Kasamatsu gets ahead of him and Kise suddenly feels an unstoppable urge to say something, anything.  
"It's you now, senpai" he says before he's able to bite his tongue.  
Kasamatsu says nothing.  
It's the worst few hours in Kise's life.  
But before the match for the third place, whe Kise is heartbroken both because of Kasamatsu and by the fact he can't play, the captain stops him in the corridor.  
"Hey, you idiot" Kasamatsu grabs him by the Kaijō shirt. "I didn't want to tell you earlier because by how you acted towards those girls I supposed that you were untrustworthy. But since you've had the guts to confess to me, I guess I can take the risk and give you a chance. You're that person for me, too. Sorry for making you freak out before."  
Kise is rarely speechless, but it's one of those times.  
"I mean I like you too, you cretin."  
"But?"  
"There are no buts. I know everything about you, your narcissism and how obnoxious you are, but despite it I like you. I see you're more than your flaws. You moron." Kasamatsu says everything on one breath and blushes furiously.  
"Do you have to insult me right after you confess to me?"  
"Get used to it."  
Kise might actually get used to it, and hopes Kasamatsu will get used to everything Kise is, because he's not letting himself fuck up again.  
Because nothing has ever felt better than Kasamatsu holding his hand under the bench like his life depended on it.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos or/and feedback are always nice!  
> My anime twitter account is twitter.com/atsushilovebot


End file.
